they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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