Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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