We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
