So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize