North Korea, Best Korea!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
