Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
