Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
