It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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