Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
