I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
