Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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