went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
