I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
