His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
