if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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