last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize