your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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