Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
