Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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