We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
