Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My legs feel like baby dolphins
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
