...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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