Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
