lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
