it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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