if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
