I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize