if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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