if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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