WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
