can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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