The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
