fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You took a bar mat shot.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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