I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
