Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
