I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
