wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
