He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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