After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
