I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
