That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
