i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
