Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
