so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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