Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
