Pappa wants mamma naked
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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