He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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