you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
