This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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