My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
