This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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