yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
