remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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