This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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