So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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