its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
