He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
