I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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