dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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