I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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