It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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