its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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